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07/07/2016 05:10 AM ID: 102716 Permalink   

Christian Scientists Create Half Man, Half Locust Super Soldier


Christian Scientists have successfully mixed the DNA of Humans and Locust for the first time and created a super being cable of jumping over tall building in a single bound.

Locust Man can also fly and has an incredible olfactory system, capable of sniffing out Locust Women from hundreds of miles causing a Locust People plague. Currently there are no Locust Women so this is not a problem.

This is the 7th attempt to create Locust Man. The first attempts ended sadly with several scientists being eaten when their smart phone brain control app was interrupted by a call from the President to congratulate them on their success.

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