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07/07/2016 05:53 PM ID: 102722 Permalink   

Lithuanian Beauty Pageant Causes ISIS to Declare Fatwa


ISIS declared a Fatwa on the Lithuanian village of Ramygala after officials there held a beauty pageant declaring one of its locals to be the most beautiful on the Planet.

ISIS Commander Ali Ali Outsinfree protested the judges decision claiming the wives of ISIS soldiers were so beautiful they had to cover them with black blankets to keep them from being raped.

The Mayor of Ramygala responded to the Fatwa as being utterly preposterous and was amazed at how easy it was to get ISISĀ“ goat. The winner of the pageant, Demyte, is being held at a secret location to prevent any kidnapping attempts.

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