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03/17/2006 11:55 PM ID: 53399 Permalink   

Man Throws His Own Penis at Cop


Jakub Fik, 33 years old, was reportedly smashing car windows in the 5400 block of W. Berenice Ave. in Chicago, Illinois. When police arrived on the scene, Fik was already bleeding and may have already cut off his organ.

Fik emerged from the house naked with a handful of knives and started throwing them at officers, along with his penis. "About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan.

Fik was charged with one count of criminal damage to property and two counts of aggravated assault, said Officer Laura Kubiak. "We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan.

    WebReporter: rottweilers_rule Show Calling Card    
ASSESS this news: BLOCK this news. Reason:
  One In A Million  
actally this is one in a million as in how many stories like this I COULD report on that I don't. I'm gonna start posting some of the crazy shyte that goes on round her in good ol' Kentucky. Stay tuned.
  by: rottweilers_rule   03/18/2006 12:07 AM     
I think he needs time out in a nice padded cell (aka safetyroom) and a lovely fashionable lockable jacket.Maybe a Hannibal Lector Style mask may come in handy also
  by: si182uk   03/18/2006 12:23 AM     
  I could see a  
woman cutting off a mans penis but for a man to do it to himself, ouch. what the hell was going thru his head. "If i throw my penis out there maybe they will leave me along" Crasy ass people.

We need stories about crazies outside of FL.
  by: cherubgirl     03/18/2006 12:31 AM     
  I feel kinda bad  
for the guy - he is obviously mentally ill and needs help.
  by: cbuilding   03/18/2006 05:53 AM     
  Oh Damn!  
Come on Florida, I know you have it in you. You can’t let a lame state like Illinois out do you in ting ting chopping! Pull out you knives and wack your tallies. I have faith in all the Florida crazies, don’t let me down!
  by: valkyrie123     03/18/2006 02:31 PM     
hahaha dude I love to see you have so much faith in florida
  by: si182uk   03/18/2006 03:00 PM     
  Darwin award nominee  
at least he won't be reproducing anytime soon.
  by: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh   03/18/2006 03:09 PM     
  Tossing Off-- hardcore!  
  by: theironboard     03/18/2006 03:17 PM     
  Were any  
officers injured by the flying penis? ;)
  by: lurker     03/18/2006 04:59 PM     
a few months agp there was a football fan who said if his team lost he would cut off his own organs and when they did he went into the bathroom and actually did it.
  by: RoBBoB     03/18/2006 10:05 PM     
  I derive far to much pleasure  
to go through with that. Poor guy I hope they can reattach it. Then give him a nice padded room.
  by: coteyr2   03/19/2006 03:00 AM     
I think he might beable to pull off the Mental Illness line of defence.
  by: coteyr2   03/19/2006 03:01 AM     
"Were any officers injured by the flying penis? ;)"

Yes. Somehow the penis landed up two of the officers asses, at seperate times.
  by: Shreerac   03/19/2006 01:53 PM     
  poor chap  
most of the people must have laughed out loud on this news. a human tragedy is nothing but a sensational news. not many would have felt the pain the chap must have suffered before and after. i wish the guy recovers soon.
  by: snjv   03/19/2006 03:18 PM     
How do you remember all the H's in your Screen when you log in??????

Your story Caught my eye as soon as i logged in Very Good Crazy story :)
  by: TheReporter     03/19/2006 09:01 PM     
  If I could  
I'd love to have a camera + sound recorder inside this guy's head before he cut his dick off...that would either be hilarious or seriously disturbing..
  by: Kalika   03/20/2006 10:25 PM     
  ..or both..  
  by: Kalika   03/20/2006 10:26 PM     
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