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06/28/2008 04:45 PM ID: 71701 Permalink   

Giant Goo Shooting Penis Terrorizes Graduates


19-year-old Calvin Morett was arrested for appearing on stage at the Saratoga Springs High School Graduation wearing a giant inflatable penis costume and shooting silly string into the audience while diplomas were being handed out.

The arresting officer, police Sgt. Sean Briscoe said, “Once I stopped laughing, he was pretty easy to catch because he was tripping on the lower portion of the costume.” The officer said the motive was humor.

Morett, a graduate of Saratoga Springs HS, was ticketed for disorderly conduct.

    WebReporter: valkyrie123 Show Calling Card      
ASSESS this news: BLOCK this news. Reason:
How very strange.
  by: Maxx20     06/28/2008 05:14 PM     
  could just be me...  
but i chuckled a little when I had to click the "enlarge" link underneath the picture at the source. :)
  by: pcXXXtreme   06/28/2008 05:20 PM     
  anyone notice...  
in the pics not a single person is laughing except him? That retarded bastard ruined a lot of graduation videos for parents.
  by: maddhatter   06/28/2008 05:23 PM     
If I was there I would wear a giant glam costume and catch the projectiles.
  by: silentrage   06/28/2008 05:32 PM     
The seating on stage is typically reserved for top class-men, special honors, and faculty. These people take what they do entirely too seriously and hence the non-laughter. I'm mostly certain there's more people behind the photo and quite a fair few of which are laughing. Just an assumption though.

You say ruined graduation videos, whilst I say made them some of the best and most memorable.
  by: pcXXXtreme   06/28/2008 06:06 PM     
also im pretty sure the article mentioned the police were laughing...
  by: misscinna   06/28/2008 06:20 PM     
Valk to report this!!LOL
  by: isuzu     06/28/2008 09:01 PM     
  This loser  
never got beyond 5th grade in his mentality.
  by: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh   06/28/2008 10:13 PM     
  Memorable graduation  
Considering how boring my college grad ceremony was I think I would welcome something like this. My classmate nearly fell asleep at the reading of the names part and I dozed through the key speakers.
  by: jaded fox     06/28/2008 10:29 PM     
Beats us throwing around beach balls thru ours...
Graduation could be a very big bore I would find it amusing!
  by: livelaughlove   06/29/2008 12:07 AM     
With the sort of topics you like to post, its amazing you have three stars already.

Actually, its just a testament to the sad state of society. lol
  by: maverick7h     06/29/2008 03:44 AM     
I don't know what picture you're looking at, but I can see at least three people laughing or at least smiling broadly. oh, and video can be editted.
I think it's great!!!!!!
  by: furbox   06/29/2008 03:33 PM     
  Hilarity outweighed by f@#ed-up-ness  
Under my three prong balancing test for hilarity, it is outweighed by detrimental value to parents and family. Those stupid ceremonies are mostly for them anyway.
  by: tkaskmaster   06/29/2008 10:18 PM     
  @ Max  

If anyone will write peculiar news it ( times out of ten it is our very own Val!

Well sorry for those who were offended but I found this hysterical, this will make a lot of people laugh for years to come.
  by: captainJane     06/29/2008 11:06 PM     
There are quite a few people in the picture laughing. It was a hilarious stunt and while I think being arrested is a bit of an overkill, I'm sure he feels it was certainly worth it (and I'd have to agree with him).

There isn't anything special about graduation ceremonies anymore anyway. At least not in the states, where education has been run into the ground. All you need to do in order to graduate nowadays, is simply show up to school.

Graduating from high school is a very depressing event. You receive a diploma that you really didn't have to work for, and everyone is talking about college.. where you'll rack up thousands and thousands of dollars of debt that will probably lead to bankruptcy, all for a degree that matters little in today's ruined job market and economy.

So a guy dressed up as a penis and lightened up the crowd.. bringing some laughter to an otherwise senile event, and making it something special to be remembered for a long time. Good for him!
  by: fadedroses   06/30/2008 11:07 AM     
That’s the best analogy of the situation I could imagine with only one correction. Declaring bankruptcy will not relieve you of student loan debt. That will hang over your head till it is paid or you are dead. What a wonderful thing to do to those who have worked hard to make this country a better place. I only wish someone would have shown up to my graduation dressed as a giant penis, I might have remained awake through the entire ceremony….at least I would have enjoyed that dreary event.

At my college graduation our president’s speech was so filled with nasty lies that when he shook my hand and handed me my diploma I pulled him to me, looked him straight in the eye and called him a liar. I don’t care what your station is in life, if you are a piece of sh!t, I’ll call you a piece of sh!t. (It wasn't my first run in with this coward) I would rather have him wearing a penis costume if he’s going to act like a dick. Kudos to Mr. Morett.
  by: valkyrie123     06/30/2008 03:48 PM     
That's awesome!

We don't have graduation ceremonies when we leave school, in the UK you only graduate from university.
  by: TabbyCool     07/01/2008 12:51 PM     
  LOL Calvin  
This kid is a friend of my brother.

They were "planning" it the day before... which consisted of getting onto the stage somehow and running across. No escape strategy, and I believe he pretty much accepted his arrest before he even straped on the costume.

BTW: He only got a ticket

Also, they've been talking about it on the radio daily since then basically, everyone they hear from (parents, students, wtv) thought it was hilarious. The only negative comment came from the superintendent of the school... and she obviously had to say what she did.

The best part was the undocumented part... when the cops caught him, and he was taking off the costume, he was wearing this T-shirt.

PS: People on stage were not laughing probably because they were still confused. The whole stunt was done with in about 5seconds... no one had time to comprehend it until it was over and done with.

PS: Check for him on facebook, there's about 15 groups dedicated to him atm LOL.
  by: cptassistant   07/01/2008 04:05 PM     
  A couple of you guys cannot be serious.  
I realized how absolutely unnecessary and completely meaningless high school graduation ceremonies were a long time ago.

Being within the top-10 graduates of my class, I walked across the stage at the very beginning. I fell asleep until about the time the final name was called - that belonging to a young man I knew had been afflicted with addiction to cocaine, ecstasy, and marijuana for his entire high school career. I realized at that moment how the diploma I had just received (well, at least the ceremony accompanying it) meant virtually nothing.

The gag the kid in this story pulled is a funny thing. Grow up and learn to laugh at the world from time to time. Haters.
  by: nofattieskthx   07/02/2008 06:20 AM     
  An addiction to ecstacy?  
Sorry, way off topic but it made me giggle profusely.
"Dude, I'm all out of X and I need a bloody hit before school! Uh oh, here come the shakes!"

But yes, it just reinforces my earlier statement. All you need to do in order to earn a diploma is show up to school. If you had to get a job, got knocked up, or for some other reason could not attend, then you get a GED.
  by: fadedroses   07/02/2008 06:45 AM     
Cocaine addiction. Abused ecstasy and marijuana.

What do you expect from the guy who graduated, as previously stated, "within the top-10 of my class?"

lol...don't know, don't care to know, don't need to know. Thanks for the heads-up, though.
  by: nofattieskthx   07/02/2008 07:07 AM     
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