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11/20/2008 03:11 AM ID: 74979 Permalink   

New Cure for Wrinkles Made from Babies' Penises

 

A new treatment for wrinkles is on the horizon. It's a new product called Vavelta, which is produced from microscopic cells cultured from the foreskin of babies penises.

Clinical trials that took place in London used foreskin material from the U.S. and the results were positive.

Although some may find being injected with penis somewhat distasteful, some could find it more appealing than being injected with alternative treatments, which in some cases are made from toxic substances.

 
  Source: cityfile.com  
    WebReporter: HeadlineNews Show Calling Card      
  Recommendation:  
ASSESS this news: BLOCK this news. Reason:
   
  39 Comments
  
  My wife  
 
gets injected with penis all the time.

<cymbal smash>
 
  by: HeadlineNews     11/20/2008 03:17 AM     
  @HeadlineNews  
 
I spat out my drink all over my keyboard when i read that.
 
  by: shiftyfarker   11/20/2008 03:18 AM     
  botox  
 
150mg of botulinum toxin can kill ~100K people.
 
  by: RyanB     11/20/2008 03:30 AM     
  oh my  
 
not to be racist but i'm assumeing that theres gonna be alot of wealthy rabbis to come out of this
 
  by: Devil Duck     11/20/2008 04:44 AM     
  I have some friends  
 
and long ago they had a baby with some complications. After birth, the doctor told the couple that the child had been born without eyelids. They were quite taken back until the doctor told them that a plastic surgeon could fashion eyelids from the foreskin of the newborn's penis. They agreed that this was the best thing to do but the doctor went on to let them know that if they agreed to the procedure they needed to know that the child would be permanently cock-eyed.
 
  by: John E Angel     11/20/2008 05:04 AM     
  STD's on your Face  
 
Hopefully this make's it easier for STD's to make it onto peoples faces...i know I'll LMAO when I see someone with genital warts on their forehead.
 
  by: visaliajosh   11/20/2008 05:11 AM     
  This is horrible!  
 
What will priests use for chewing gum??

BB
 
  by: bbeljefe     11/20/2008 05:20 AM     
  Is there a reason...  
 
...the name is disturbingly close to Velveeta? I never did trust that cheese!
 
  by: opinionated   11/20/2008 05:27 AM     
  Oh great...  
 
Just what we need. More d*** faces walking the earth.
 
  by: turnerpunk2   11/20/2008 05:37 AM     
  So it's not actually made from baby penises?  
 
Just the foreskin?
 
  by: blac   11/20/2008 07:04 AM     
  Nice  
 
"Thanks babies, we chopped off part of your dick without permission, now we are going to make a fortune using what we chopped off without your permission! Everyone's a winner, well apart from the babies who have to grow up with a mutilated penis. But you can't miss what you never remember having right?"
 
  by: ZCT     11/20/2008 07:06 AM     
  @HeadlineNews  
 
That was the funniest thing I've read in a month. Seriously, LOL.
 
  by: vash_the_stampede     11/20/2008 07:12 AM     
   
 
But will it work on my balls to get the wrinkles out?

Smooth as eggs lol
 
  by: the mobile kid   11/20/2008 07:42 AM     
  I wonder..  
 
Will the parents get a kick back from their son's penis parts?
I bet the Dr/Moyel will be seeing money for participating in this wrinkle treatment!
An old joke about foreskin: If you sew a few pieces together and give a little rub, it will grow into a wallet!
Now, with this new wrinkle treatment, you don't even need to sew!
 
  by: Allanthar     11/20/2008 03:46 PM     
  @ ZCT  
 
So true... what a sick world we live in. The sickest part of circumcision is how accepted it is. Its like if everyone had a raging party because of Darfur's genocide.
 
  by: Trevelyan   11/20/2008 05:18 PM     
  Proof positive  
 
Velveeta is not cheese, it's foreskins.
 
  by: zalpha     11/20/2008 05:41 PM     
  @Trevelyan  
 
It may be accepted in America, although it is becoming far less popular now. It's only about 60/40 these days, whereas it used to be way higher.

World wide less than 18% of males are sexually mutilated in this way, as a routine procedure.

So it's more of an American tradition as opposed to a world problem.
 
  by: ZCT     11/20/2008 05:52 PM     
  HA HA  
 
This is just funny all for the cost of beauty!
 
  by: rogeratvfan   11/20/2008 06:25 PM     
  Idea  
 
Don't chop up babies for cosmetic products. Chop up...wait for it...aborted fetuses.
 
  by: H. W. Hutchins   11/20/2008 06:27 PM     
  Money  
 
Interestingly the story also talks about how these foreskins are being sold by American hospitals to the UK for this kind of research, therefore they have value.

But I'm sure the hospitals would not be so unethical as to charge for the procedure, steal the foreskin, and then sell it to the highest bidder without compensating the parents or the child they stole from. Right?
 
  by: ZCT     11/20/2008 07:25 PM     
  Eeeek  
 
Thay sounds horrible, suddenly my wrinkles have all gone.

Interesting summary, and John Angels comment too.
 
  by: captainJane     11/20/2008 07:38 PM     
  You Could End Up  
 
A little Cock-eyed.
 
  by: ichi     11/20/2008 08:55 PM     
  Ha-ha '@ Ichi  
 
My worry is in some countries babies will be used for this.
 
  by: captainJane     11/20/2008 09:25 PM     
  ...  
 
So what's this new line of wrinkle-removing-baby-penis-cosmetics going to be called?

Pedagirl?
 
  by: zatonado001     11/20/2008 10:18 PM     
  In response to all your comments  
 
Oh my....
 
  by: ToofDogger     11/20/2008 10:30 PM     
  Flawless  
 
Did you ever notice how priests have such smooth youthful skin?
 
  by: Count Minkula   11/21/2008 12:08 AM     
  @myself  
 
I meant Paedogirl.
 
  by: zatonado001     11/21/2008 12:34 AM     
  Cutting Edge  
 
Every purchase come with a bottle of "Brit Milah" By Calvin Klein
 
  by: Count Minkula   11/21/2008 12:46 AM     
  I Don't Understand  
 
Why so many Americans feel the need to mutilate their baby sons' genitals like this! I know that for Jews it's a religious thing (a religious practice that I think should stop, quite frankly) but for the other people doing this to their little boys, what is the reason behind it?

Sometimes there are medical reasons why this may need to be done, such as if the baby had a serious infection down there, or if the foreskin was too tight to be pulled back it would cause problems later in life. If there is no underlying medical reason why a boy needs to have his foreskin removed, this is just cruel and unnecessary. Why would anyone choose to mutilate their own child?
 
  by: TabbyCool     11/21/2008 11:42 AM     
  @TabbyCool  
 
I totally agree with everything you've said. I am hugely against sexual mutilation of babies for no reason.

The ONLY decent argument I've seen for circumcision is that once the child reaches adulthood, if they have lots of unprotected sex with people who have HIV, they are slightly less likely to catch HIV if they have been circumcised.

That's the only sensible argument I've heard. Although in all fairness if you are going to have unprotected sex with HIV positive people it's only a matter of time anyway.
 
  by: ZCT     11/21/2008 06:48 PM     
  I wonder  
 
what the going price for 1 unit of that stuff is?. I still got a little hanging around, not much need for it now.
 
  by: tasso   11/22/2008 03:00 AM     
  hmmm  
 
I guess once the vavelta ages, peoples faces will be covered with penis wrinkles.
 
  by: turnerpunk2   11/22/2008 03:37 AM     
  why is this  
 
placed under women's health?
 
  by: RyanB     11/23/2008 05:29 PM     
  @ZCT  
 
What is your stance on Abortion?

@Tabby:

Religious purposes can not be stopped because one says, or assumes mutilation have taken place on babies.

There was a time Dr would recommend appendectomy at birth, since appendix had no any other use except kill you later, if raptured.

There is 1% percent chance of mutilated baby, not contracting infections, or spreading infections, to 0% from those who have the foreskin.

As it is, study after study shows, people are careless with their hygiene. They dont wash their hands properly, after the fact and women are the Worst ones. SN reported http://shortnews.com/...

While other may say what they want, fact is you are better off not having your skin, than having it hanging, only to trap the unwanted and later someone else makes a lollipop out of it. YUCK.

NO. I chose not having the loose skin dangling for no purpose.
 
  by: isuzu     11/23/2008 05:42 PM     
  @Headline  
 
"Although some may find being injected with penis somewhat distasteful" ROTF.

Do you like being injected with Penis?
 
  by: isuzu     11/23/2008 05:45 PM     
  @isuzu  
 
"What is your stance on Abortion?"

http://zct168.blogspot.com/...


"NO. I chose not having the loose skin dangling for no purpose."

- And there is nothing wrong with an adult making that decision regarding their own penis. The issue is babies being routinely mutilated for no reason.

As for your assertion that the 'skin' is 'dangling' for 'no reason' that's not true at all.

http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/...

 
  by: ZCT     11/23/2008 07:20 PM     
  @ZCT  
 
http://shortnews.com/...

These are only opinions of those who are For or Against.

As for the abortion link, I really dont know what to make of it. I was trying to read until I reached "But what I don't understand is their marketing slogan. What they are admitting is that women made a free choice, which they now regret. So what?" and I said to myself. Yea SO what? Opinion are like hairs (Hahahaha) we all have some, and some have none.

What I was trying to get out of it is, if abortion is mutilating babies who have no say?
 
  by: isuzu     11/24/2008 12:48 AM     
  @isuzu  
 
“These are only opinions of those who are For or Against.”

- I accept that in the link it does have some compelling evidence that if you are circumcised you have a slightly lower risk of catching HIV by repeatedly having unprotected sex with someone with HIV. But if you are going to use that logic you could argue that removal of the penis would completely prevent all STDs.

“As for the abortion link, I really dont know what to make of it. I was trying to read until I reached "But what I don't understand is their marketing slogan. What they are admitting is that women made a free choice, which they now regret. So what?" and I said to myself. Yea SO what? Opinion are like hairs (Hahahaha) we all have some, and some have none.”

- My point was that a Christian group is exploiting women who have had an abortion and encouraging them to hold up those stupid ‘I regret my abortion sign.’ But that doesn’t strike me as a particularly good argument. After all, these women had a free choice, and made a choice that they now (after possible exploitation or coercion) consider a mistake. So how is that any kind of argument for changing the law? I regret being caught speeding because now my insurance company uses it as an excuse to charge me more for my insurance. But does that mean I support electronic limiters fitted to vehicles by the government?

In life we all have free choices that we can make in a free society, including the decision to have an abortion. So the argument that because some people make the wrong choice, we should take that decision away from others by having the government control that decision is unreasonable.

Bottom line, I am pro-choice. America has repeatedly and over a long period of time proven that it sucks at keeping babies alive once they are born, because of the crappy exclusionary health care system. So until we get our infant mortality rate to a reasonable level it is bullshit to be preaching about abortion. I want to see the so called ‘pro-life’ groups demanding universal free health care for all children. Then I will believe that they are genuinely interested in saving the lives of babies.

“What I was trying to get out of it is, if abortion is mutilating babies who have no say?”

- It’s an interesting question, and I get your point. But ultimately it depends when you believe life begins. In my opinion a cluster of cells called a fetus is not a baby. And I am not prepared to demand that women are legally discriminated against by forcing them to grow a fetus inside them against their will.
 
  by: ZCT     11/24/2008 08:28 AM     
  @ZCT  
 
We can rant all we want until cows come home. Bottom line is that, free choice is to be exercised, irregardless of what you and I and everyone else thinks.

Cluster of cells make babies, cluster of cells make organs such as loose dangling, Germs and virus and bacteria trapping organ called foreskin.

This is the type of argument, we can go to and fro without reaching a consensus opinion. Because we choose not to. Otherwise we can admit, it is a choice of free will and lets agree. (Play with semantics) You go ahead and kill that clustered cell I call baby, while the baby was conceived by a clean, none virus trapping penis, or vice versus.

What I dont get is the fact, call it mutilation and the other one is a choice! Unless if it was put there by force, or divine intervention, or condom broke. Killing is Killing is Killing. The only choice one has is to sew those knees together.

(It's just a point) Not necessarily I need someone to cling on my neck now because I have written about pro life,.
 
  by: isuzu     11/24/2008 03:00 PM     
 
 
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