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  You might be a Minnesotan if...  
 You consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by.

You're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation.

You have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy."

Your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March.

Someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there.

Your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead.

You've worn shorts and a parka at the same time.

Your town has an equal number of bars and churches.

You know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Cloquet, Edina and Shakopee.

You think that ketchup is a little too spicy.

Vacation means going "up north" for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit deer while driving more than once.

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.

You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowmobile suit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce.

"Down South" to you means Iowa.

You know "a brat" is something you eat.

You find -10 degrees "a little chilly."

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends.
 from: caution2   09/11/2007 09:37 PM     
 Valkyrie123 hates it when I post random weird messages on her forum board! 
 from: theironboard   12/27/2007 10:42 AM     
 60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.
 from: caution2   01/24/2008 06:33 AM     
 One winter morning during breakfast a husband and wife in northern Minnesota were listening to the radio and heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street so the snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
 from: caution2   01/27/2008 06:49 AM